SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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