Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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