so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
