The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My vagina just recognized that song.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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