I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
