At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
