Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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