It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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