Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
