I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
