"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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