Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
