JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
