who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
