I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
