I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
