And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
