Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
