Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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