sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
