scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
