They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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