Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
