I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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