i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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