Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize