my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
