i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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