Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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