She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
