so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
