so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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