we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
