the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
