In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
