I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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