I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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