Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
