i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
