Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
