So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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