Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
