Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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