That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
