Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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