we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
