Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
