So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
