I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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