you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
