I think I am morally bankrupt
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
