Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize