did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
