DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
