I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
